Following a dream that no one understands can be challenging, but it can also be deeply rewarding. I’d like to think I had a well-thought out plan each time I was escaping a nightmare or following a dream. However, in hindsight I realize I didn’t define it as escaping or following; I just knew I wanted to live beyond the current situation.
In Jeremiah 29:11, God says, “I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” In those moments of discontent or pain, I reminded myself that in life there would be trials and disappointments, but I also believed God’s Word that His plan was not to harm me but to give me hope and a future. His plan for me would never include me staying in harmful situations or situations that did not feed my emotional or spiritual growth.
However, His plan would require passion, purpose, resilience, commitment, and a hope for a future. With only a hope and a dream, I’ve chosen a number of times to move away from what had become ordinary and comfortable on to more courageous journeys of freedom and discovery.
In my early career I worked for the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) for 12 years. My desire to make my family proud of me and to prove to myself that I could do it, I remained in a very challenging environment. Imagine working in a place that is rooted in male dominance, privilege and authority. As a woman of color I quickly learned that no matter how hard I worked, I was just a means to an end with no one really taking an interest in my future. I did work hard and I was recognized after years of service but looking back I realized in my heart that it was too late. What was a beautifully challenging career had run its course and I wanted to explore the possibilities of what would come next for my life. I courageously began to explore a total career change in technology, as well as the consequences and sacrifices that I would have to accept. I knew that I would have to balance being a wife, mother, learning a new career, and returning to college for a degree in Information Technology, as well as learning to turn a deaf ear to those who thought I was insane for leaving a Federal career with the FBI.
For a young girl from the housing projects in Louisville, Kentucky, the verses in Philippians 3:12-14, became the beacon of hope that I followed. "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Using the Philippian verses to guide me through these dark moments, I learned so much along my journey of discovery:
- Willingness to acknowledge my own imperfections: The passage begins by acknowledging that the journey is not yet complete and that there is still progress to be made.
These words encouraged me to understand that it's okay not to have everything figured out or to have achieved all of my goals yet. It reassured me that my current struggles and setbacks are part of a larger process.
- Persevere no matter what: "but I press on" highlights the importance of perseverance.
Despite challenges such as fear, self-doubt, and possibly limited resources, this verse encouraged me to keep moving forward, to continue striving towards my dreams and goals.
- Focus on the future and not looking back: "forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead."
The passage encouraged me to let go of past failures, mistakes, or difficult circumstances. For a young girl growing up in a challenging environment and a young woman navigating a business world where I didn’t feel welcomed, this was a powerful reminder to not be defined or held back by past, but to focus on the opportunities and possibilities of my future.
- This journey was a passion but the verses suggested that there was a divine purpose and calling – "that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me" and "the prize for which God has called me heavenward."
These words instilled a sense of worth and purpose, helping me to believe that my life had a meaningful direction guided by God's plan. Trust me, this belief continues to provide me the strength and courage I need to overcome obstacles and trials.
- Trust in God's plan even when I could not see the end:
Implicit in these verses is a trust in God's plan and timing.
By pressing on towards what God had called me to, I found confidence and reassurance in knowing that my efforts were aligned with a higher purpose. I’d like to say that the verses help mitigate fear and self-doubt, but so often it didn’t; however, it did foster a deeper trust in God's guidance and provision.
In summary, Philippians 3:12-14 is not just for me. It’s for whosoever will believe in the possibilities for hope and a future. I know it continues to encourage me to acknowledge my ongoing journey, persevere despite obstacles, focus on future possibilities, recognize I’m on a divine mission, and trust that God's plan is to give me hope and a future.