We are continuing our HEARTH series where we are exploring the six components of leadership HEARTH. Just like a hearth, leaders have an opportunity to show warmth and strength when adopting these six pivotal components of leadership. No, this is not another wolf story; however, as I think back to the story of little red riding hood where she exclaimed to the wolf, ”Grandmother, what big ears you have,“ or the English Lop rabbit with the longest ears, does not mean either had the ability to hear from the heart. However, both help me introduce our next topic of having ears to hear.
Everyone in the workplace is fighting to be heard but very few are fighting to hear. It’s more than just having ears to hear. This hearing is a deeper level of listening. It’s listening with empathy and understanding. Being able to listen to others around you is really an exercise in dignity and integrity. If we can’t hear others, if we assume we have all of the answers, we actually view reality in a skewed manner. Listening with ears to hear allows us to participate in things that are bigger than us. Listening is an essential and often overlooked part of communication. You know we all strive to be seen and heard but it’s easy to forget that we must also fight to hear what others say and how they see things. When we don’t make an effort to listen, to hear what others have to say, and to see how they see things, we can become trapped by our own ideas. The practice of listening with empathy opens the door for us to get to know our team better and brings harmony to our team dynamics.
In a study done by Lesley University, it was reported that empathy is a broad concept that refers to the cognitive and emotional reactions of an individual to the observed experiences of another. Having empathy increases the likelihood of helping others. Empathy is a powerful emotion that can bring hope during challenging times in organization.
Leaders should see themselves like a coach. They should listen, instruct, show, and help their employees overcome their own insecurities for those times when the leader cannot be present. If you’ve ever played or engaged in organized sports, the coach always wants the members of the team to be able to continue the sport towards victory even if the coach is not around. You don’t want your team members to lack confidence because of insecurities in their own subconscious minds. Every coach should know that their team members are strong even when they don’t see the coach. This can be an uncomfortable position for leaders, because as I said in a previous article, it can give the appearance of being soft when a leader is focused on hearing and truly listening with an empathetic ear.
Just because we have ears to hear does not mean we listen. I’m sure many of you as leaders would agree that we’ve had numerous classes on how to present or how to brief, but no one has ever said leaders need to take a class on listening. Prioritizing the need and the time to listen is a decision and an amazing opportunity for the leader and those they have been entrusted to lead, inspire, motivate, and engage in today’s workforce. If team members know their leader cares about them beyond that day’s performance, it’s more fun and fulfilling to serve a shared deeper purpose. Leaders who intentionally build in those extra minutes in meetings to hear people out, offer comfort or advice, and even leave space for laughter and occasional nonsense, are ultimately building a more resilient team.
One of the criticisms I faced over the years was that I was not aggressive or assertive enough to lead. I rejected this idea and refused to believe I could not be both compassionate and strong. I made a decision not to assimilate the leadership style of my male counterparts of a “rah-rah bulldog.” I chose a leadership style that was focused on listening to team members that created a more flexible, inclusive, open, and consensus-building team. I learned to take risks because the team was willing to work together for success. We’d often say, “Failure is not an option if we’re holding each other up.”
I believe that listening with empathy, fighting to hear and fighting against ourselves with a focus on others might be the very thing we need to implement for team members and workplace transformation. Listening can be the greatest gift you give an employee. As we know, when an employee knows a leader cares about them, they will then care about the leader’s success and the overall success of the organization. Do you hear me? It all starts with the leader,